Praying.

I'm at school, doing homework that I didn't do last night. Basically, totally gave up and decided to go to bed. I couldn't concentrate anyways. Finally, finished my paper for class after sitting in front of the computer for two hours. Wondering why? I'm scared, but I just hope everything turns out to be okay i wont know till tomorrow Omg im just praying for the best right now shes already going through something severe and scared she might need to go into surgery to remove it, but i dont trust surgeries very much because anything can go wrong. Ugh i guess i just have to wait till tomorrow to hear the news..

I'm praying for you, both of you.

mmmm. dont care.

I'm suppose to do homework, but obviously I can't concentrate to even look at my books. I'm hurting inside, but noone can see it. I'm crying, but noone can see my tears. I want to give up. Give up on everything. Everything I worked hard for, I just dont care anymore.. but there is something in me that keeps hanging on. Something is telling me to dont give up. But why? Why keeping hanging on when everything just gets worst by the minute and everyone just doubts me. Half of my family didn't think I could get through high school. I've lived 19 years of my life always being disappointed at and been told that I'm selfish. Yes, welcome to my family. I hear this every single day. Always been told that I wont make it, all I think about is myself and just want to play. Fuck that shit. Yeah, family is suppose to support you no matter what. Does that sound fucking supporting me? Uhh no. If they're going to keep putting me through that, I might as well just fuckin die.

What a Day.

Woo my first blogg.. sike. Anyways, today was a fun day. I went to Jan's house, where it's located in a completely different world to me. Desert much? Lol, plus I have never driven three straight hours before and never felt so tired. So I just let Jan drive for the rest of the day together haha. Went to get lunch at Red Robin, which I was totally craving for them friesss. Yumm! But hella got full for just eating a side of fries while he had a huge burger.. wtf?! If that happened, something is wrong hahaha! Usually I'm grubbinn, but I guess today is just not one of those days. I actually wanted to go to the mall, but we only had so little time before I had to go back home. Can you say LAME!? Oh well, we had a ton of fun and laughter for the rest of the day. So his homecoming is coming up & if i could get work off, I might be able to be his date. I guess we'll just have to find outt. But if we go, we'd be hottt. Of course now he's with me lol! Well I'm hella tired, had such a long day, but a great one. Not looking forward to tomorrow; work all day. Blahhh! Quick save me, take my shift it'll be a pleasure while I sleep away. Have a good night world! & yes you welcome for lunch jan jan (:

"To let go isn't to forget, not think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't winning and it isn't losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking out memories or thinking sad thoughts, and it doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss and it's not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and move on. It's having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It's learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It's realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door and to clear a path to set you free."

-- Love itt <3

WHOOAAHH

im totally @ wife's house having a greatt wifey dayy (:



this post is whatevers. get with itt !
yawwwwww!